Pernah rasanya mau bunuh diri? pernah rasanya mau mati aja? sama gw juga.
Detik ini saat ini gw ngerasa jadi manusia paling goblok di dunia, gw kehilangan makna atas hidup gw, ketika orang lain bahkan saudara gw sendiri menghina dan membunuh karakter gw. Hidup gw seakan ga guna, gw mau menghilang dari dunia ini, gw capek di remehin, gw capek di hina, gw capek berusaha, gw capek gagal, gw capek di tolak terus, gw udah capek menunggu mujizat Tuhan. Ya gw tau ini salah besar.
Hilang harapan atas hidup, sejauh ini 24 tahun hidup didunia ini, sepertinya ini adalah titik terendah di hidup gw, bahkan sampai gw hilang arah dan ga tau apa yang harus di lakukan, i cannot see Him (Jesus, where are You?) You know that i cannot live without You. Please, don't leave me like this, i need You Lord. I need You!!!
All around me is so dark, there is no light here. I cry everyday, everytime in my heart, every hours i feel like a dusk.
Should i go to the ocean and let the sea take me back to You? Ya, right now, i want to drown myself in the ocean.
i never say if Jesus is wrong when He create me, i still believe that He had a purpose when He created me, ya i do believe that. i just cannot see His hands want to help me. I'd love Him no matter what. He is still the best that i have. God is good all the time.
